One From the Road - It's my birthday and I'm not getting a beating

It has come that time of the year when I become a year older. Out of the fifty five birthdays that I have had, I can only remember four of them. My ninth birthday was an important one. My grandfather took me to Western Auto and told me to pick out any bicycle that I wanted.

When I walked out with my bicycle, my grandfather was shaking his head. It was green with a white banana seat and high rise monkey handle bar. I remember him saying, "Don't you want fenders on it"?

The next two are easy to remember. On my 16th birthday, I got my drivers license and went home and baled hay. On my 18th birthday, I got my chauffeur drivers license, went back home and baled more hay.

For my last memorable birthday, I have to go back 26 years ago when I turned 30. My wife decided that I needed a party. She invited all of our friends and neighbors and then went and invited a group of truck drivers and their wives from Medicine Lodge. One of the couples was a truck driver turned dispatcher, Larry and his wife Jacky.

They had been there about a hour when Jacky found a good strong sturdy stick that would not break. She had the other drivers come up to me and hold on to me as she proceeded to give me my birthday beating. I think Jacky had a problem in counting because her 30 swats turned out to be 50.

I ought to tell you what had happen a few months before my birthday party. Janice and I was in Wal Mart when we came across Jacky. We stood there talking for a short while and every time Jacky turned her head, I reached behind me and picked up what ever was on the shelf. I then put it in her shopping cart. I managed to do that at least three times.

After we were through talking, I told Janice that we needed to check out. I stood there at the front door waiting for Jacky to check out. She started to put her items on the conveyor when she stopped. The look on her face was priceless as she tried to figure out how those items got in her cart.

I yelled bye to Jacky at that time. Do you remember how Fred Flintstone would yell at the end of the show, "WILMA"? Jacky did her best to match or even beat Fred when she yelled out, "WEASEL"! Who would thought she would hold a grudge that long?

Her 30th birthday was a few months after mine so I got the most recent picture of her from her husband. I went to the Sunflower paper office and put that picture in the paper. I had in big print her full name, her age and birthday. In small print underneath all of that was, Weasel never forgets.

Larry told me that as soon as the Sunflower came out, Jacky started to get phone calls. First from her mom and then her sisters. Then all of her friends were calling to find out what was going on. I was waiting for her and Janice to go after me that next year with one of my baby pictures. Due to changes in my jobs, we lost contact with her. I do miss her!

I noticed in the News a few weeks ago that some parents was telling everyone that their son was having a birthday by putting in a much younger picture of him. The reason that they do this is to embarrass and draw attention to the birthday person.

Every time I see one of those, Lordy, Lordy look who turns 40 ads, I feel like the jokes on me. I want to be in on the fun but if you don't tell me who it is, how can I?

Ron Moore is a professional truck driver and contributor to the St. John News.